the flowery journal

Kontemplasi. Kata yang sering aku temui di sosial media beberapa waktu yang lalu. Biasanya berisi semacam ‘renungan’ mengenai hari yang telah dilewati, atau urusan yang telah sukses, atau bahkan tentang permasalahan-permasalahan individu yang makin suram tiap harinya. Terkadang ketika aku membaca tulisan kontemplasi orang-orang tersebut, aku ikut hanyut pada isinya meski berbeda dari satu dan lainnya, dengan menyesuaikan substansi kontemplasi   yang dirancang. Pada akhirnya aku menemukan kesimpulan kalau setiap orang pasti punya ceritanya yang ingin disebarkan, ingin orang lain dengarkan, atau hanya sekadar memulihkan perasaan yang terasa bolong. Di waktu aku memutuskan akan menulis draft tulisan ini, aku tidak langsung tertuju pada pilihan kata ‘kontemplasi’ melainkan ‘refleksi’. Kata ini sangat dekat denganku, apalagi membicarakan perkara ‘renungan’. Hubunganku dengan refleksi ini seringnya makin erat menjelang hari-hari akhir rekoleksi atau ret-ret. Biasanya peserta rekole...

I was born in too diverse family, sometimes they were religious, sometimes they weren't. I witnessed my maternal grandmother went to church every Sunday, sometimes with me or my sister. Meanwhile, my paternal grandpa was a devout Buddhist. He went to Vihara twice a month, or when a special event/sermon took place. I recalled it clearly, how I attended Buddhist prayer more often than Catholic's, even though it was my parents' religion.  I was not given proper religious source in my childhood, even though I attended Catholic pre-school, primary school, and secondary school. When I asked my mom what her reason was, she stated that "Catholic private school conducts classes in Catholic beliefs, and I assure you could get the Catholic lesson there."  Both of my parents are believer; my mom is Catholic since birth, and my dad was Catholic, then converted to Christian a decade ago. My dad is religious, devout, and regular attendee of the Christian church since he converte...